I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
