ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
