i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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