My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
