yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
