It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
