I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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