Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
