i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
