I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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