I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
