He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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