Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
