I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
