never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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