Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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