You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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