so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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