Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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