I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Panties = found
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize