I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
