Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
