Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
