I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
