I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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