yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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