maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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