Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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