my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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