Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
