So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
