I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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