Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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