How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
