She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
