Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
