Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
only you would photoshop your dick
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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