The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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