I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
