I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
