We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
