Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
