No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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