everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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