I'm lost and stupid without you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
