I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
