I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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