And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
