I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
