Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
