I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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