i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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