Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
