i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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