Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize