i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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