i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
