I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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