I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
