i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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