Fuck appropriateness.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ketchup is God's man juice
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
