we have officially lost it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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