every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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