i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
