He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she woke up with a sticky ear
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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